The only verse I decided to keep from lyrics I was working on-something to leave on a page and return to later. Writers block for now at least has this verse placed alone amongst chord patterns left longing for a chorus, and another thought.
I’ve been selling all my memories
just to try a pay the bills
but it seems
sentiment an’t worth much
and I haven’t really got
anything
‘round here of value…
so I’m praying
to the plaster
‘cuz god
he grants me no relief
and least til’ the bank calls
this roof offers some shelter from the rain.
waking up
another cigarette sunrise
sending smoke signals
in exhaled breaths
on the wind
so they might travel to your window
whisper in your ear
catch your attention
and …
go to sleep
try to win favor with the sandman
so he might grant me permanent residence
in a world built
beneath the sky
of a dreamscape
where i won’t
be forced to face
the day.
press pen to paper
fill pages
and books
halfway up with
half -truths
I always wind up
pretending
what i meant to put down
was not quiet real
and even then
i say
these words are not mine
or these words were just meant
to let something out
so i’ll feel better
but I don’t
really.
now I just have a page marked with ink
so I can see my own sadness
like tears in the mirror.
and display my cliche melancholy
with the pride of a teardrop junky.
I found an old letter I’d written you, trying to thwart my need for immediate gratification, something you so despised that I thus felt compelled to dispel from my desires. Another letter unsent, another note that is now meaningless.
It was between the pages of a journal entry, noting how I wished I were over you after sleeping beside him, when he told me that you and I would never work. I told him that I already knew it was doomed. I told you that too. He said it was because I wanted to be loved and you were in love with you guitar, perhaps he was right, but I always just figured I was unlovable, be it by you or anyone else. I mean, after all, I wouldn’t keep me.
I realized I haven’t been seeing the figures at night that usual keep me up when my over-active imagination runs away with the shadows. I’ve actually been sleeping with the lights off. Maybe I’ve discovered sanity?
Asked by sailing-tothe-moon
thanks to you as well and thanks for re-blogging.
I’ve been living in circles on paths,
that don’t curve or fork,
but spiderweb…
*I’ve decided to just go ahead and post the unfinished bits I write when I sit down, that lay incomplete on journal pages and napkins. Maybe this way I’ll be more prone to revist them.
The North was cold
so I drove South’
the South grew old
and I went West
the West is dull
and now all I want
is to go back East
and drive North
again.